Friday, June 5, 2020

Dr. Tour Sauce - the struggle to stay open through tough times in rhyme.

COVID-19 has thrown a bunch of wrenches into the mix.  It's brought new business and old over the course of the last couple months and one thing has come out for certain - there are bigger things than golf right now.  That being said, it seems there are a lot of players who just don't realize that we play a game, and while it is the effort of everyone with a personal shop to treat each player as an individual, it doesn't give that player carte blanche to act like a douche (I've been working on my French).  I've actually fired a couple of clients, sent them packing to the next guy to deal with because well --- life is too short.  Golf is recreation - we're not saving the world or lives, and certainly could have worse professions or hobbies. It's a shame that it sometimes brings out the worst in people.

So if you may be on the fence about what to do or where to go - maybe even wonder about the state of the game and what to do next - I've decided to channel my inner Dr. Seuss to sort of explain the inner workings of a crazy person's golf-mind. Sometimes it's catchy prose that makes a message stick rather than the message of social media moguls who see the chance to align themselves with the flavor of the month. I would urge anyone who has had enough with the state of things to make your voices heard in a peaceful manner.  Stand up in your everyday life and say "NO" when something is wrong. Donate every day, and do good as you can. Confront that bigot and stand tall right then, rather than virtue signaling later when its convenient.  Tell your friend that joke wasn't quite right. Don't wait for death or injustice to take a stand, make sure you're always there daily to guide those around you to love one another and share in the joy of every day granted to us on this planet. No one is asking you to give up freedom, just do what you can to protect the freedoms of those around you.

My name is The Club Nut, and I speak for the Tees,
The greens,  fairways, rough and all your golf needs.
I make sure your gear is precise and well-fit,
So you can be confident in every shot you hit!

That other place is cheaper and bigger, I know,
but remember they're generally messy and slow.
We do what we do, for the love of the game,
and we treat every job as if it were the same!

Precision and quality, no matter the size.
Every player's a tour pro in a club-builder's eyes.
You deserve the best, with satisfaction to spare
to help stop the misses that cause you despair.

Why then do players not value the same?
All the products and experience under our name.
"Make me a deal! It's cheaper online
and I'm pretty sure I can do the work myself just fine!"

I wish I could give you the discount you seek
and have all your items in stock every week!
That overhead's large and requires quite a lot
of money, and credit, and liens on my spot!

Still, what no-one sees is the staunch dedication,
the experience, machines, and time spent on station.
Measuring, figuring, and problems to solve
it's not just some glue that completes all the jobs.

And what about ranges, and courses, and clubs...
where all of us go to play golf with our buds?
It takes lots of time to keep up with that land!
We need to help out and lend a similar hand!

The complaints of the rough and aerations are ripe,
with craters on greens from anger-filled swipes.
Pace of play grumbles at four hour rounds
from people who forget to make a "FORE!" sound!

We get it that sometimes you just need to see
that sometimes a deal isn't all it's cracked up to be!
Fast, cheap, and good doesn't really compute
when it comes to equipment and courses to boot!

We value your business, can't stay open without it.
but please understand, we don't warrant the bullsh*t!
So fix all your divots, and ball marks, and damage
and we'll keep our fees at the lowest we can manage.

It's not all that bad, and regardless of skill
at least you are healthy, not hopelessly ill!
You're tweaking your gear, not praying for solace
from tyrants and bigots and forthcoming malice!

You could have it worse like some places therein,
where people beat those who have different skin.
We're in this together and must come to terms
with racism, sexism and truly sick words.

Golf is our outlet, a fond welcome to all!
Let's love one another and chase that damn ball....
No one cares what your age is, or race is, or creed,
but be sure that we're watching your foot-wedge in the trees.

It's not about news, the who, what, when or why,
It's about what YOU do when you see it go by.
Be humble, be righteous, but above all be kind
to each other, and none of us will be left behind.

We have but one life, and of all of our days
this one matters most in the most crucial of ways.
We can bring change, just like we can bring folly
but this Game should bring everyone together, by golly.